K3SAM - Audio Clips From The WC 800 Mhz Radio Cyst-Em / Free-For-All

Audio Clips
from the
Westmoreland County Department of Pubic Safety
800 Mega Hurts Pretend Billion Dollar Radio Cyst-em
part of K3SAM.COM

FILE NAME	DATE	DESCRIPTION	SIZE
Greensburg Fire Chief	06.01.05	Greensburg Fire Chief - Quick Quote (non-800 Mhz)	188kb
District 9 PD Quote	06.05.05	Anonymous Quote From Police District 9 (Rocky ?)	169kb
Park PD	06.08.05	Two Park Police Officers Chatting About Life Styles	777kb
Encrypted	06.10.05	Example of an encrypted audio conversation	634kb
D5 vs. 911	06.11.05	Fight between District 5 Police and a 911 Dispatcher (good receive?)	2666kb
Arnold EMS Station 101	06.13.05	Final Transmission of Arnold EMS Station 101	870kb
Bad Boyz	06.13.05	Big Time Local Song, Dedicated to the Westmoreland County Cops ! Inner Circle with a Special Local Mix (3:45sec) Very Much Altered - Not available in Stores or on TV. A Blah-ger Special !!	8810kb
The Blah-g Lives	06.15.05	*The BLAH-G* Lives ! Police Chit Chat - Don't Hold Back, I don't listen**	2138kb
Someone's Mad	06.18.05	Park Police vs. Delmont Police - Blah-ger doesn't take sides.	2892kb
The Big Boys	06.20.05	Top Officials from the Westmoreland County 455.5 System	1157kb
Cycle This	07.04.05	Police and the 110 MPH Speeding Motorcycle with Gas	462kb
12 Hour Daze	07.11.05	A very long week for Both Monty, Washington Twp. PD and 911	2508kb
100 Yard Dash	07.19.05	New Ken Police Foot Chase - Guess Who Wins	4381kb
Even Cops Wreck	07.21.05	Derry Police Officer Morrow In Vehicle Accident on Route 217	1950kb
Penn Twp PD Blues	07.22.05	On 19 JUL 05 - 911's Receive Went Out For Penn Twp. POLICE	1713kb
Mister Bill	07.22.05	Dispatcher Bill, Possibly Over Worked (definitely underpaid)	667kb
Roll Call	07.23.05	Police Roll Call - Funny but what else would you expect from D5	710kb
AC DC	07.24.05	Sex Changes - Not Allowed While On Duty !	427kb
Ford Wheel Drive	07.25.05	Lower Burrell PD Looking Ford The Best Way To Kill A Skunk	1974kb
Motorola vs. 911	07.25.05	Radio Exchange/ Motorola vs. 911 - NO WINNERS (cotton ears)	523kb
Twat You Say	07.26.05	Crappy Audio From 911 - Million Dollar Mics - Plantronics Best ?!	1330kb
Weak	07.26.05	Again, I can hear transmissions 911 can't with my $499 Scanner! (on sale now for $449 - need any WC ?)	1352kb
Open Mic	07.26.05	911's Inside Chatter - Open Microphone	957kb
10-89	07.28.05	Don't We Have Enough 10 Codes That Now We Have Another	200kb
District 9 PD	07.30.05	Just Hanging Around With The Gang in District 9 PD	1853kb
Vomit	08.02.05	I'm Sorry, But When You Give A Medical Report You Better Do It Slower !	90kb
Radio Problems	08.05.05	With a system like ours it is quite HARD getting the right information if the system isn't working.	1498kb
Medic 202	08.07.05	Nothing nicer than hearing a cheerful lady in an Ambulance !	276kb
Foot Pursuit	08.08.05	Car 5-11 in a foot pursuit in Vandergrift with Poor Communications AGAIN !	4488kb
Derry Police	08.10.05	I am getting tired of posting files like this AND Derry is only 3 miles away ...	3298kb
		~ SERIES - COMMUNICATIONS CRASH OF 05 JUL 05 ~
CRASH Part 1	08.01.05	Part one of the big 911 System Crash of 05 JUL 05.	3083kb
CRASH Part 2	08.05.05	Part two of the big 911 System Crash of 05 JUL 05.	3214kb
CRASH Part 3	08.06.05	Part three of the big 911 System Crash of 05 JUL 05.	1880kb
CRASH Part 4	08.07.05	Part four of the big 911 System Crash of 05 JUL 05.	1220kb
CRASH Part 5	08.08.05	Part five of this on going 911 System Crash of 05 JUL 05.	1884kb
CRASH Part 6	08.09.05	Part six of this BIG 911 System Crash of 05 JUL 05.	2810kb
CRASH Part 7	08.10.05	Part seven and Final Part of the 911 System Crash of 05 JUL 05.	1027
		~ SERIES END HOWEVER I'M SURE 911 WILL CRASH AGAIN UNLESS THINGS CHANGE. ~
Muffled	08.11.05	Another example of our Mega Money Muffled Microphones !	556kb
Kenny and Tom	08.11.05	Lower Burrell Police Officers Kenny and Tom on a good day !	489kb
FNF	08.12.05	Friday Night Funnies From The Blah-ger (Mirage of Mixes-Altered 12 Aug 05)	2197kb
Dr Motorola	08.12.05	While having radio problems, 911 jumps on frequency and offers "live" Advice. This is SURELY an EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION.	1639kb
Motorola Help !	07.12.05	911 Breaking in on the Medic Channels for unknown reason.	1525kb
911 Activities	08.18.05	Did you copy, who said what ? You should be here !	1485kb
Bad Hair Day	08.18.05	What else could this mean ?	1935kb
Common Spelling	08.22.05	What's in a name ?	669kb
D9 Headache	08.28.05	Always more than one answer to a problem.	736kb
5-11 TAC	08.22.05	Tic TAC Woe.	967kb
4-90 Dead Spots	08.24.05	1st of Three Different Audio Clips From Police Car 4-90.	743kb
4-90 Dead Spots 2	08.24.05	2nd of Three Different Audio Clips From Police Car 4-90.	791kb
County Line	08.24.05	3rd of Three Audio Clips From Police Car 4-90 and the Most Important One.	1925kb
TAC Channels	08.26.05	Remember When There Was A Zone Frequency For Each Fire Dept.. Now It's TAC Channels. NO CONFUSION, RIGHT ??	1081kb
LB Radio Problems	08.30.05	Radio Problems In Lower Burrell. (radio problems everywhere!)	696kb
Cuts	09.03.05	Misc. Radio Audio Clips... are you in there ?	1457kb
K9 Food	09.03.05	Ligonier Township PD's K9 with People Food ?	405kb
4-70 Kick Off	09.03.05	Also Ligonier Township PD - Don't Mess With The Best !	993kb
Cuts 2	09.05.05	Misc. Radio Audio Clips... for your listening pleasure. (might be altered for the sake of humor)	1442kb
Pagers	09.05.05	Just another example of a partial system CRASH !	248kb
Cuts3	09.05.05	Misc. Radio Audio Clip... Wow, I had fun. Listen people, I altered these for fun, don't get your balance in an uproar!	1236kb
Radio Comments	09.05.05	On Sept. 8th, Westmoreland County Held Another DRILL, you be the judge... how did the radios work ? (part 1)	1310kb
Radio Comments 1	09.05.05	On Sept. 8th, Westmoreland County Held Another DRILL, you be the judge... how did the radios work ? (part 2)	1449kb
Radio Problems 2	08.15.05	Radio Problems in General - Listen to it ALL.	1619kb
Radio Problems 10	08.18.05	Radio Problems Continue... General Problems that are UNACCEPTABLE to a Public Safety System ! (nice ending)	1142kb
Mask Mic	08.23.05	This is actual UNTOUCHED audio from our 800 Mhz System with the firemen using Masks.	1394kb
D6 Master Switch	09.15.05	Switch-Over For District 6 and 7 Police Departments on 800 Mhz. Not a pretty site !	1260kb
Echo 2	09.09.05	Another example of the 800 Mhz Digital Echo - Must Listen To The Whole File For The Effects !	817kb
TAC Channel 2	09.11.05	TAC Channel ? Who is what where on What ??	389kb
Stupid Mix	09.18.05	I just couldn't help playing around - everything has been altered for your listening pleasure... don't believe a thing !	720kb
Fun Time	09.25.05	Sometimes I just can't help myself. Enjoy these ALTERED Clips !	1110kb
Problems 11	09.19.05	These are continuous problems, good instructional material for the next radio class maybe ?	1537kb
Problems 12	09.25.05	Oh, just a mixture of multiple miscellaneous radio system problems for all to enjoy !	1454kb
DEATH	10.07.05	DAMN, if this would have been an emergency someone would have died. How can 911 NOT hear Car 9-12 when all the other cars COULD. So could YOU and I. (Last Names of actors involved were removed as well as the dead space.)	1208kb
Problems 15	09.25.05	More Problems with the system... I have explained why this happens several times in my Blah-gs !	1048kb
Fun Stuff	09.25.05	Just some ALTERED clips for you to enjoy...	897kb
Problems 20	10.17.05	Just too much garble on the system. One name was altered to protect the crazy.	1550kb
Problems 21	10.22.05	One important saying that I made sure was repeated over and over in this clip... remember the DEAD SPOTS !	1066kb
Silly Comics	10.25.05	Some audio clips I was going to throw away, but NO... I couldn't pass up a bit of altering.	1123kb
Problems	11.03.05	New Florence Police, District 4 Police can no longer use 800 Mhz... switching back to VHF. Plus other goof-ups !	1378kb
Funny Minutes	11.11.05	Forgot to post this one.. just some funny ALTERED stuff for your enjoyment. Are you in this ? Woof !	1250kb
Just Funnin'	11.23.05	ALTERED clips of your favorite cops, firemen, EMS and dispatchers. Blurps from the Blah-ger.	1076kb
System Crash	12.04.05	Another example of what can happen when a group of towers CRASHES (no control signals = no work = CRASH) 11 Nov 05	1114kb
800 Mega Hurts	12.19.05	A bit of Fun, just a tad of altering HOWEVER there are some serious CLIPS that have NOT been altered... showing again that the system is running on 3 cylinders !	1608kb
System Junk	12.28.05	As the days go by, wouldn't you think that this 800 Mega Hurtz System would get better... NOT WORSE !	1454kb
Secure Stuff	01.02.06	*How secure is our WC Security System ? Plus other hair raising audio clips from the Blah-g.*	1395kb
Low Band	01.15.06	More wonderful Clips - NEW GAME ! Find The Dead Spots !	1302kb
800 Follies	01.20.06	*Enjoyable clips from your favorite radio station. Listen for the "open mic" ! (some parts slightly altered)**	1570kb
T1 or Motoroldla	01.28.06	Listen carefully at the beginning when Mt. Pleasant Police Car 6-10 is calling 911. It sounds as if 6-10 is calling 911 several times quickly with NO BREAKS however I have removed the 45 second BREAKS in-between calls to make the file shorter. No other parts of this clip were altered except for removing the DEAD silence. For those without scanners, this is how the SYSTEM SOUNDS ON A NORMAL DAY ! What !	1354kb
Geeesh	01.30.06	*When I listen to the confusion there is between 911 and all of the agencies (PD, EMS, and Fire)* I wonder how anything is accomplished ! Just ask Saltsburg Fire Dept., Station 131.**	1261kb
First Responders	02.04.06	*This includes many clips from the past to the recent activities of good audio, which I might add is hard* to get anymore. A salute to Police / Fire / EMS.**	1562kb
Good Bad Ugly	02.04.06	Not sure exactly how to classify this one as it is like Heinz 57, has a little bit of everything in it. Enjoy, but not too much. Some files are only a few days old !	1484kb
1 Year & No Better	02.14.06	*After having this Cyst-em up and running for a YEAR it actually appears as if the quality is going down-hill. You Listen, You Decide. These audio cuts are less than a month old.*	1166kb
TwilightCrap	02.17.06	Until the WC 800 Meggy Hurts Cyst-Em is repaired, I will continue to post audio clips of this system "crapping out" ! Each time this happens, vital information is lost... what if the words "I NEED HELP" are lost within the system ? LISTEN! This clip also shows our Cyst-em having problems with Fire Pagers / Sirens !	1560kb
TwilightCrapOut	02.17.06	The same audio clip as "TwilightCrap" except w/o the background music...	1551kb
WhatzWhat	02.23.06	*Just think in your mind that if just one of these garbled radio calls were a call for HELP, we might be paying our LAST RESPECTS ! - Right Mark and Rich...*	1270kb
Repeat Syndrome	03.03.06	*Talk about repeating stuff and Dead Spots... Plus* my creative audio magic has been incorporated into this ALTERED little ditty. Enjoy...**	1224kb
Lovely Radio System	03.07.06	*It's Not Only The Blah-ger* That Complains About The Radio Cyst-Em, In This Case The COPS Were Heard Saying What A "Lovely Radio Cyst-Em" We Have !**	1166kb
A Dramatization	03.10.06	You think this Blah-ger has been kidding around about how bad this system really is ? This is a dramatization that Mr. B. Blah-ger has thrown together to show you EXACTLY WHAT COULD HAPPEN if Westmoreland County stays with this 800 Meggi Hurts Radio / Telephone Lying Cyst-EM ! (original - ok to D/L and save)	1598kb
Cyst-Em Blips & Burps	03.13.06	*Miscellaneous Audio Clips from Broken Transmissions To $300 Defective Headsets connected to Million Dollar Equipment Consoles... "Repeat" ?*	1336kb
Are You Alright ?	03.17.06	Just the Normal Audio Clips You Would NOT Expect to Hear On A Good Working Radio System... and the SCREAM !!	1184kb
Lock Box Charlie	03.17.06	Everything From Mutual Aid Using OUR Cyst-Em For VAN Transfers To Opening Lock Boxes... EMERGENCY CRAP YA KNOW !	1163kb
Radios On Drugs?	03.20.06	*This Radio Cyst-Em Must Be On Drugs...* At Least That Would Explain Some Of The Problems !**	1337kb
No Signal...No Go !	03.26.06	When Bear Caves Tower Site Goes Down, NOTHING MOVES in Ligonier Township. That includes FIRE, AMBULANCE and some Police. The Fire and Ambulance Crews Depend on TONE ACTIVATION ON VHF... Take a Listen !	1896kb
Always Out Of Range	03.28.06	When Am I In Range ? Now ? How About Now, And Stay OFF Fire Dispatch !	1564kb
Mutual Aid Taxi Service	03.28.06	Director Matason and Deputy Director Brammell of the 911 Circus has specifically ORDERED that this new 800 Mhz Radio System is ONLY to be used for EMERGENCY COMMUNICATIONS, NO NON-EMERGENCY COMMUNICATIONS OR TRANSMISSIONS ARE TO BE CONDUCTED OVER THESE FREQUENCIES AND THIS SYSTEM, PERIOD !	1415kb
Testing 1, 2, Charlo?	04.03.06	A TEST: examination or evaluation ~ vb: examine by test ~ n \| Whenever I take a TEST, I expect a passing grade. WITH AS MUCH TESTING AS 911 AND RADIO MAINTENANCE DOES ON THIS CYST-EM YOU WOULD THINK THE EQUIPMENT WOULD SOON PASS !	1431kb
I Never Even Heard Him	04.08.06	I usually edit out the DEAD AIR on my audio clips so you don't have to listen to silence, HOWEVER this Audio Clip is in REAL TIME, Dead Air Included so you can HEAR FOR YOURSELF What Happens Daily On This 800 Mhz Cyst-Em And It's FAILURES. The Clip Last About 90 Seconds With Very Little Talking... And We Paid MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR THIS ! The Audio Clip Opens and Closes With The Blah-ger Logo.	1148kb
The Dog Is Safe !	04.10.06	*Oh, just a bunch of clips... you wouldn't expect anything SPECIAL from the Blah-ger, would you ?*	1617kb
Caliper	04.17.06	*Oh Oh... just some more examples of DEAD SPOTS, plus some humor that I found... Remember, besides removing the dead air, I did not EDIT these clips. All original, as seen on TV !*	1250kb
Dispatching by Phone !	04.25.06	Pretty BAD When 911 Can't Set Off Sirens and Pagers... Ah, Call Me By Phone ! 25 MILLION DOLLARS FOR THAT... Let's HOPE and PRAY 911's Phones Don't Break !!	1252kb
When The Doctor Can't Hear	05.01.06	I knew this would happen WHEN THE PUT THE HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOMS ON THE 800 MEGGY HURTS CYST-EM ! THANK GOD This Guy Didn't Need His HEART STARTED !!	1404kb
Danger Zone	05.02.06	Here Is The PERFECT EXAMPLE OF What I Have Been Writing About In The Blah-g ! When You Are In A DEAD SPOT, Pressing The Emergency Button Won't Even Get You A Pizza ! Also, someone PLEASE FIX Medic Station 516's Paging Cyst-Em, Dispatching By Telephone Isn't Too Reliable !	1332kb
No Go Siren	05.04.06	I tried, and I tried, and I tried... AND I TRIED... I can't get no.. NO SIREN ACTIVATION ! NO NO NO !! HEY HEY HEY, that's what I say !	1182kb
This and That	05.15.06	While pulling out clips for my next SERIOUS audio diddy I came across some "lighter" ones that deserve a spot here. Perhaps some altering has been performed, but not much. There are some SERIOUS clips in here too, but this is a nice mix. Enjoy !	1363kb
Misuse of the Cyst-Em	05.16.06	Van 6 to Dr. Welbey's at 2, Van 2 to LAH then Dr. Scab's at 5, Van 5 to Dr. Quincy's at 6, Van 6 to Van 2 at 3... and the newbies arrive. What a Cyst-Em we have Tom, Dick and Brammell !	1309kb
So, What's Next	05.22.06	This started to be a "mild" audio clip with Mark's Hair being the main topic but ends with a FIRE DEPARTMENT UNABLE to get instructions due to this poor radio Cyst-Em. REMEMBER MARK BRAMMELL, DHS Said "SIMPLEX ON ALL FIRE TAC CHANNELS" ! Sad, so sad !	1125kb
Oh What Fun It is...	05.25.06	NO DESCRIPTION GIVEN Except to say that everything in this audio clip is interesting. The Blah-ger DID report that Westmoreland County Tied Up The EMERGENCY RADIO CYST-EM WITH VOTER REGISTRATION CRAP when it should have been used for EMERGENCIES ONLY, this audio clip is the PROOF. WHO WAS IT THAT SAID WE HAVE ENCRYPTED / PRIVATE TRANSMISSIONS ? The Blah-ger is Always RIGHT !	1431kb
Proof is in the Hogies	05.30.06	Making this audio clip I was reminded of the Delmont Police Chief saying in a newspaper article something to the effect that the 800 Meggy Hurts Cyst-Em is perfect and they have had no problems with it. Then I run across this recent audio clip... a Blah-ger Exclusive ! All I can say is, Gimme Hogies ! (there are a few other Delmont clips on this site too, this is just the latest and greatest)	1309kb
Tell 'Em Where To Go	06.05.06	I should have posted this one on 6.6.6 but I just couldn't wait. These Audio Clips show some of the system problems we have grown to LOVE plus another one, these 800 Meggy Hurts Radios do not work well in buildings ! On the cutesy clips I did ALTER one clip to hide an identity. Enjoy and give 'em HELL BILL !	1202kb
PLEASE NOTE	********	THE BLAH-GER HAS BEEN POSTING THESE AUDIO CLIPS FOR OVER A YEAR NOW AND THE SYSTEM STILL SUCKS ! WORTH NOTING AND REPEATING.	SHIT!!
Dead Spot Trademark	06.13.06	Now the Police, EMS and Firefighters are using the terms "DEAD SPOT" and "DEAD SPOTS" on a regular basis... THAT IS NOT A GOOD SIGN for the Cyst-Em however should send a signal back to 911 Management that the BLAH-G does get read AND the audio clips do get listened to by most of the First Responders AND those in high places, like Senator Bob Regola !	1389kb
Make Me Cry	06.20.06	This set of audio clips are mainly comical, at the beginning there are two extremely serious "audio clips". Listen and see if you can pick out two of the many problems this 800 Meggy Hurts Cyst-Em has with relationship to those clips. (BTW, I know how to spel System !)	1406kb
Shock and Awshit	06.30.06	Just your normal BS from the Worst 911 Radio Cyst-Em in the Tri-Country Area thanks to Motorola and the 3 Stooges. Have a safe and happy 5th of July, be good on the 4th too.	1636kb
Just Perfect... (NOT)	07.17.06	Your Blah-ger is NOT sleeping... recording the 911 Cyst-Em 24/7 on one machine while editing on others BUT you gotta remember, Blah-ger Central is only staffed with a force of ONE. They tell me sometimes that's all it takes, a voice of one. LISTEN ! All new clips !!	1550kb
Moron Train - Repeat	07.24.06	*Everyone Line Up At Public Safety Drive, The Moron Train* Is About To Load...**	1627kb
Hello Hospital ER... ?	07.24.06	Normally I remove all the "DEAD SPOTS" in my audio clips so you don't fall asleep... however this audio clip is REAL TIME AUDIO from Life Stat 97 to Latrobe Hospital. All the Dead Air was left in so you can get an idea of all the WASTED TIME TAKEN UP when this BAZILLION DOLLAR RADIO CYST-EM was installed. (please stay awake now...)	1113kb
The Winner !!	07.25.06	Normally I get a group of audio clips together and make one BIG clip... but when I heard this one I just had to leave it alone. This short audio clip is the absolute very BEST CLIP I have heard yet ! I Hope God Blesses You Tom Balya !!	184kb
CO Detector ?	07.31.06	I wonder if there is a LAW that can FORCE the Westmoreland County Commpissioners into buying a Radio System that works ? The Blah-ger is only a communications engineer, not an attorney...	1339kb
Praise The Lord !	08.02.06	HOLY COW and PRAISE THE LORD... Not that the Cyst-Em is working... HEAVENS NO, But HOLY COW the Firemen, Police Officers and EMT's Are Even Able To Communicate Using This Damn Radio Junk and PRAISE THE LORD that I'm Not An Attorney Or I'd Take All Three Wimp Ass Commpissioners To Court And Sue Them For Negligence And About 1000 Other Things !	1120kb
Snap Crackle Pop	08.30.06	Doesn't matter WHAT the noise is, SNAP - CRACKLE - or POP, this system is Rice Krispies... or better yet, FRUIT LOOPS ! Give a listen...	1482kb
Busy Cyst-Em (Short)	09.12.06	When OUR Radio Cyst-Em (system) is being tied up by the Mutual Aid "Taxi" service, Park and Courthouse Maintenance, Weights and Measurements and other NON-EMERGENCY radio traffic, FIRE/POLICE and EMS Services will NOT be able to make EMERGENCY TRANSMISSIONS. Here is a classic example of 911 MANAGEMENT BULL CRAP, ALLOWING THESE SERVICES TO HAVE RADIOS (dead air edited out - see the long version below)	528kb
Busy Cyst-Em (Long)	09.12.06	When OUR Radio Cyst-Em (system) is being tied up by the Mutual Aid "Taxi" service, Park and Courthouse Maintenance, Weights and Measurements and other NON-EMERGENCY radio traffic, FIRE/POLICE and EMS Services will NOT be able to make EMERGENCY TRANSMISSIONS. Here is a classic example of 911 MANAGEMENT BULL CRAP, ALLOWING THESE SERVICES TO HAVE RADIOS (dead air included, actual transmission times - see the short version above - this version runs almost 2 minutes)	1388kb
Chop Shop	09.16.06	This set of audio clips are focused around DIGI-CRAP. Radios are only receiving every third word when the are close to being in a DEAD SPOT. These are ALL NEW audio clips folks, the Cyst-Em Still isn't working and I doubt if it ever will. Tom Balya depends on a phone system to make his contacts, if he had to rely on this CRAPPY Radio Cyst-Em perhaps it would be fixed ! Those damn compissioners...	1361kb
Shit, Shut Up Already !	06.24.06	The Wonders of this Radio Cyst-Em CAN PREVENT POLICE, EMS and FIRE FROM TALKING ! I'm not referring to any towers being down (as they usually are) or radios not working (as they usually don't), but JUST THE WAY THIS SYSTEM IS SET UP. Listen to this short clip that PROVES what I have been YELLING about for over a YEAR ! Geeesh, and finally caught on digital audio !!	490kb
Who Is That ?	06.26.06	I'm tired of explaining... just listen. These are ALL NEW RECENT audio clips. Rich and Mark, keep your day jobs, if you have one. . (slight audio alteration - just to highlight the obvious)	1226kb
3 Stooges - Tom Tom and Phil	10.24.06	More I can't hear you, 10-9, What and Whatever's from the Multi-Million Dollar Urban Blunder Radio Cyst-Em the Westmoreland County Commpissioners along with Rich Matason and Mark Brammell gave to our First Responders, the Police / EMS / and Firemen. Damn ! *	1444kb
A Dispatcher's Nightmare, An Open Mic !	02.12.07	This audio clip shows that 911 dispatchers are only human... REALLY HUMAN. This Blah-ger cut out most of the dead air and added just a bit of humor at the end, besides that, what you hear is what was said " LIVE and on the air " ! *	475kb

© Sam W. Jacobs - Certified FCC 1st Class Radio Communications Engineer / Technician
"the Blah-g", "Digi-Crap", "Dead Spots", "Cyst-Em", and "Commpissioner" are Trademarks of the Blah-g ™©
"K3SAM" is a Federal Communications Communication (FCC) Amateur Radio Extra Class Callsign Licensed To Sam W. Jacobs

and just for the hell of it...

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
All audio clips are subject to the removal of "dead air" space and names of actors / license plates / etc....
However the clips are NEVER subject altered unless listed as such.
This page is soon to be changed in appearance.. maybe, watch for the "*" indicating new files.
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
My wallpaper and years of experience says it all.
I don't need 2600 reasons to tell you why this Cyst-Em sucks, 1 is enough !
If you are reading this line of type then you have too much time on your feet.
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
ALL FILES ARE FREE TO DOWNLOAD, NO PERMISSION REQUIRED, Feedback is welcome - news@k3sam.com.
PLEASE READ THE BLAH-G and all of the back issues.. up to date information on our 800 Mhz Radio System. http://k3sam.blogspot.com.
The song BADBOYZ uses the song BAD BOYS by Inner Circle as it's back drop, all Inner Circle Copyrights apply.
When in doubt, don't eat the food as the cook might have dirty feet !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
Where's George ?
Maxwell Smart, Good to the last drop !
Keep Christ in Christmas !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
2006 is here, not 2600. A reminder for our dyslexic friends.
That K3SAM has the #1 website at my house !
They say it is easier to be a 911 Manager than it is to fart under 150' of water.
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
It would be a mistake to put your life in the hands of the 800 Meggy Hurts God - He won't hear you.
Sticks and Stones may break your bones but Mega will always 800 Hertz you.
For Sale: Male, 51 years old, feels like 80 - Does dishes and types with NO mistaks. Inquire within. (SOLD)
It is by the Grace of God I Go.
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
Everybody get down tonight... everybody Wang Chung Tonight.
This is the 75th Anniversary of the Three Stooges - a Special Nyuk... Nyuk... Nyuk to all !
Failure to reply when requested could save you the price of a stamp.

When the phone rings does it want something ?

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
And the Old Man Said To The Anxious Boy "11 Cents" !
Fix It or Return It Repaired Please...
20 Years ago I was much younger.
Count From 367 to 2 in increments of 14 divided by your house number times 3.
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
The Words Radio Cyst-Em©, Cyst-Em©, Digi-Crap©, and Digi-Fubar© are Copyrights of the Blah-ger© !

I can't wait for my Moog Synthesizer to arrive !
Have You Received Your New 911 Gate Pass Yet ?
Radio Check... I Got Mine !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS

It IS possible to roller skate in a buffalo herd !

Hark, I hear a cannon !

If you travel backwards, are you on a pirt ?
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
.sdrawkcaB epyT I semitemoS
Two Radios, Two Feet Apart, Two T1 Lines Down, Too Bad... UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE !
Two Radios, Two Feet Apart, One T1 Line Down, Still Too Bad... UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE !
One Radio, One 911 Center, One Cop Who Needs Help, One T1 Line Down, Still Too Bad For The Cop... UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE !
Twenty Radios, One Big Fire, One 911 Center, One T1 Line Down, Still Too Bad For The Homeowner and the Firemen... UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE !
One Ambulance, One Hospital, One Patient, One EMT, One T1 Line Down, Again Too Bad For The Patient... UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
Why do Westmoreland County Commissioners Carry $4,000.00 Radios when they don't use or need them ?
Why do County Maintenance Employees Carry $2,500.00 Radios when they don't use or need them ?
Why do Westmoreland County Road Crews Carry $2,500.00 Portable Radios and $4,000.00 Mobile Radios When they don't use or need them ?
Why do The Westmoreland County Weights and Measurements Employees Carry $2,500.00 Radios When they don't need them and Hardly Use Them ?
Why is an Emergency Transmission ONLY Radio System Used For Personal Use and to Schedule Taxi Service ?
Why Do The Fire, Police and EMS Crews Walk Around Without Enough Radios ?
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
If you like to get ripped off with Auto Insurance, Call AIG !

Mark, My Words !!

Let an electrician check your shorts !

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

LADY DISPATCHERS - EMAIL ME, news@k3sam.com

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
A 350 Foot Tower With An Antenna On It 50 Feet Up - WOW !
Love Your Radio - It Could Save Your Life... VHF Radio That Is.

Tommy Can You Hear Me ?

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
Close cover before striking.
( this space for rent )
4-8 to 4-60, Can you hear me ?
What ?
EBAY: For Auction-10,000 radios, mix of portable and mobiles. $500 or best offer. Will trade for 1 VHF Portable or Mobile. Includes one 911 center.
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, every where I go...
Someone said I forgot to take my meds, so what ?
What good is an EMERGENCY BUTTON when the radio is in a DEAD SPOT ? Do I see a lawsuit coming ??
Forget I said that, but damn I had to say something !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
"Doctor, this man will die unless you give the orders to save him ! Please give us Orders Doctor"
"Could you please repeat Medic 202"
"This man is dying doctor, we need your orders"
"You are scratchy but did you say borders ? I came in from Mexico at night"
"Orders ! Doctor !! Orders !"
"Oh, Orders ! Cheezia Booger with Onjions and Fries Preeze"

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
Ball seeds now on sell, cheap.
This wire connects to that thing... I think ? Gee, things were easier at McDonalds !
Puff, puff, puff... is this thing on ?
New policy, if you get a busy signal on your radio, throw it away. In 2 weeks we will need all new radios !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
Isn't it funny the Booooop sound isn't trade marked by Motorola yet ?
If your license plate number is YDN5118, the Blah-ger was behind you on Saturday ! "Hi Assn't"

Your radio can also double as a hammer, try it.

Can anyone say "DEAD DUCK" ?
If DEAD SPOTS were Yellow the world would look a lot different.

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
Dead Spots, Dead Spots... Rolly Polly Dead Spots - Hell with the Fish Heads !
Mr. Patrolman, do you feel safe with this radios Cyst-Em or do you carry a backup ? Perhaps a Family Radio Service type on channel 1 ?
Honestly, I thought the doctor said to give him all those drugs...

Command 71, we have been calling you for almost 30 minutes !

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS

Today is THE day... more later if not sooner or later
Don't spend too much time thinking about it, Brain Cramps are deadly !

My Dog wants to sell me, any takers ?
GIVE EM HELL BOB !!!

Does your 800 Mhz Crap Out On You or Do You Eat Out ?

DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
You won't be able to contact me as I will be inside the building...
I'll be out of range of the Cyst-Em so if anything happens call me on my cell phone...

My battery in my portable is dead so don't bother calling me...
If you have been trying to call me I bumped the channel switch to TAC 3 by mistake...

My radio has been on the whole time, I don't know what the problem is...
If you need to get a hold of me use low band as I can hear you on that...
800 is choppy, your VHF is down, so call me by phone if we have any ambulance runs...

All Penn Township Units, your portables may not work as your tower site is down... AGAIN...

DISPATCH, I don't give a damn if you are 10-6, I have one at gun point !...

What vehicle are you in tonight, our display isn't working right...
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
You say system - I say Cyst-Em
You say Radio - I say Toy
You say American - I have proved Japan
You say Motorola - I say Crap
You say it works - I say "Listen To The Audio Clips, They Don't Lie !"
You say bids - I say fixed, pay offs and paid vacations
You say thanks for all the revealing audio clips - I say "You're Welcome"
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
the Blah-ger NEVER requests money for these audio clips,
they are yours for the downloading.
The space on the web where these clips are stored cost $$$,
Donations are accepted to help keep this website up as well as
Everything you have found on http://800.k3sam.com.
You may make your Donations from that link.
THANK YOU !
(I tried for a grant from Commissioner Tom Balya's office but that didn't work.)
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
I feel like a farmer outstanding in his field.
Press and hold down the red button for 5 seconds and listen for "HELP" by the Beatles.
If they look alike but are made by the same commissioner, do they still stink ?
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Your VHF Radio Works
But My 800 Mhz Radio Sucks Like Dog Dodo
(That's Because You Are With Murrysville PD and not on 800 Mhz).
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
How to Make Your Motorola Radio Work With Westmoreland County's New Radio System...

1.) Buy a metal garbage can
2.) Place the radio in the can
3.) Add unleaded gas to the can
4.) Drop a match in the can
5.) Wait until the fire goes out
6.) Drive to the 911 center
7.) Stand Outside with your newly cooked radio
8.) Press 911's intercom door button
9.) When a dispatcher answers you...
10.) Talk normally into the flamin' radio !

Do The Above At Your Own Risk, But I Promise 911 Will Hear You !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
There are three things in life that I really hate !
There are two things I can't stand !
And One Thing That Drives Me Up The Wall !
and then there are those...
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
JEANNETTE'S TOWER SITE HAS BEEN DOWN FOR DAYS - DOESN'T ANYONE CARE ?
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
BEAR CAVE'S TOWER SITE HARDLY EVER WORKS ANYMORE - DOESN'T ANYONE CARE ?
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
AH HELL, LAST WEEK ALL OF 911 WENT DOWN, THE POLICE HAD TO DISPATCH FIRE DEPARTMENTS !!
DOESN'T ANYONE CARE ?
IF 911 WERE A PERSON, IT WOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS
How many of my readers that aren't employed at the 911 Center wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall for a day ?
What's the difference between Cancer and the Westmoreland County 800 Mhz Radio Cyst-Em (system) ?
Someday there may be a cure for Cancer !
What's the difference between a wrecked car and the Westmoreland County 800 Mhz Radio Cyst-EM ?
A car can be fixed !
What's the difference between someone who is fuggin' ugly and the Westmoreland County 800 Mhz Radio Cyst-Em ?
Not all that much !
DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS - DEAD SPOTS

There's No Dead Spots Here
Thanks Sandy for your donation to this page !!

And You Think English is Easy!!!
Read to the end...a new twist to an oldie
Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse .
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig !

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, bu t when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the offic ers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP